I have to be honest. I’m not always feeling great with this new sprinkle of degenerative disease on my life story. It’s a great big Mind F*$K.
I am confused, thrown off course, and bewildered.
The unknown is messy, dirty, and may have thorns. With a diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease (PD), my quality of life is at risk. I’m curious about what’s ahead. Which symptoms will become a part of my life story?
People often ask how I’m doing/feeling. I think the right question to ask is ‘how are you dealing?’.
Joni, how are you dealing with a degenerative disease? How are you handling the changes in your body? Are you afraid of a day when you’re shaking so much you won’t want to leave the house? Are you afraid that may become your new norm? How do you know which doctor or healing method is going to help you? Joni, maybe internal work is all you need? You seem pretty positive now, but how will you be if it gets real bad? Will you write your life story like your daughter suggested as a result of her fear of the possibility of dementia? Has your slow typing affected your productivity at work? What type of work can you do with this disease? Can you teach dance or fitness anymore? What’s most important to you and do you live in alignment with that? Do you really think you can release this disease from your body? If so, how do you know? Are you working full time, and if not, why not? You can work full time, right? How does this experience impact you and your family? What is your children’s experience of a mom with a doozy of a disease? What has the diagnosis done to you? Are you scared?
Remember . . . I am confused, thrown off course, and bewildered. I don’t have responses to any of these questions, but the energy and the weight of these questions run through my daily existence.
You see? It’s not about how I’m doing. It’s all about how I’m dealing.
Honestly, ‘how I’m dealing’ changes at any moment on any day, but in general I’m doing really well (most of the time). I’m actually training for my first 5K. Woo hoo for me!
How do you deal when life throws you a curve ball?