Some of you may know me as the Owner of Positive Energy Dance Fitness for Women from over three years ago.  I led many classes:  Sensual Pole Dance, Dance Fit Diva, Belly Dance Fusion, Crazy Sexy Cool, Flirty Girl Booty Beat, and IntenSati.  It was a lot of fun being a leader in the fitness industry.

I’ve been avoiding all cardio type classes in fear of whether I could do it.  I’m not referring to the cardio part of it, but could I follow the foot work.  Will I have the coordination?  The left side of my body does not operate as smoothly as the right side of my body.  Was I going to trip over my own feet?  Was I going to fall?  Was I going to run out of the class in frustration?  Could I keep up with the instructor?  Should I stand in the back?

I’ve been feeling some frustration with yoga balancing poses lately.  Can I really balance when half my body is shaking?  In this frustration, I’ve realized my body wants to dance.  I desire to explore this form of movement now.  I’m not abandoning my yoga.  I’m just diversifying.  I desire to explore different dance forms.

I attended a Jazzercise class on Thursday morning.  I walked in with all my fears.  You know what happened?  My left shoulder was difficult to move with the beat of the music.  I was behind and not with the tempo.  My left arm was not swaying like my right.  My left arm movement was smaller than the movement of my right arm. I was doing OK, hanging in there, but not as good as I would’ve done a year ago (pre-Parkinson’s).

I was getting frustrated and a little angry with this restricted, smaller movement of my body, until I realized something HUGE!  I realized I walked in to class as a Parkinson’s patient unsure if I can keep up, so that’s the experience I created.  Once I realized that, I changed my thinking to being ME, JONI, someone who loves to dance and move.  I connected with the music, enjoyed the movement, and reached a little further with my left arm.  This was a whole lot more pleasurable.

I even went back the next day for more.

My thoughts are powerful, just like yours. I’m grateful – I felt the fear and did it anyway.