Are you a nag?
As you may know, I’m a Mom. My daughter is in middle school and my son will begin high school in September – oh my! The morning routine was driving me batty for a few months. All I was doing was saying to them, ‘move along’, ‘you should be brushing your teeth by now’, ‘you need to leave in 30 minutes, 10 minutes, 5 minutes . . . ’, and the list goes on and on. I felt like I really couldn’t do anything else because I needed to be available to ‘nag’ and move them along. You see, my children like to move in slow motion. I had to encourage and remind them to focus on getting ready to leave the house. I got to a point that I was DONE with this scenario. It was unacceptable! I didn’t like who I was showing up to be for my children (and for myself as well). Something had to change.
Honestly, I didn’t know how to handle the situation right away, but I knew change was absolutely necessary for everyone’s sanity.
This was the change . . . .
First of all, I created an intention to have a smooth, simple morning routine for my children to leave for school on time.
Next, I realized my children are obviously old enough to understand what needs to be done and what time they need to leave for the school bus. I changed my thinking at this point. I chose to give them the responsibility to get out of the house on time. I was not responsible anymore. They were. I chose this time to workout instead of nag.
The next step I took was to check in with my feelings. I felt this was a smart choice for me and my children. The idea of being done with a workout at home before they even left the house felt great.
The last step was to take action and that’s what I did! I began to exercise at home as they were getting ready for school. Before I began, I told them I was going to be busy working out, the current time, and to ‘move along’ (just this one time).
The new routine went really well. I didn’t nag, the children were not nagged and the children made it to the school bus stop on time.
These are the steps I went through – set a new intention, changed my thinking, checked in with my feelings, and took action. The result is: I started my day feeling fantastically fit with a clear head and my children made it to the bus stop on time, without the drudgery of nag, nag, nag, nag, nag.
Now it’s your turn. Where in your life can you set a fresh, new intention? Once you’ve got that intention, are you up for the changes? I know you can do this.
- Change your thoughts to be in synch with your new intention.
- Check in with your feelings, an change if necessary, to be in synch with your intention.
- Take action.
Please share with us how you will apply this in your life.
When I was 7 I was responsible for packing my own lunch. For getting myself to the bus which by the way was 20 minute walk from home. And if I missed the bus my parents had already gone to work.
I feel like I looked it up to my son it will be 930 in the morning before realizing that maybe he was late.
You’ve inspired me to in September institute a policy self-reliance. You can do it he just doesn’t need to because I’m doing it for him.
Way to go!
Hey Lauren. Thanks for the great input. YES, they can take responsibility. I was actually enabling their lack of responsibility by constantly telling them to move along.
You’ll be great in September!!
Wow, interesting article. Unfortunately my kids are too tiny to do much for themselves during our morning routine, so I can’t give much input. But it is interesting to hear from moms whose children are older. Sounds like a great idea, letting them take responsibility for getting ready and being on time. I guess with children of any age, the more we encourage them to do for themselves, the more responsible they become. And then we don’t have to feel like nags! This article has inspired me to maybe stop “jumping” to help my little ones with every little thing. I have noticed that when they have to wait a little longer than 10 seconds, they will try to do the task themselves. That’s when I realize just how capable they are. I think i actually do them a disservice when I do too much for them. Letting them take on more responsibilities helps them to grow, and it gives me some brief moments of ME TIME.
Hi Candi. I actually got goose bumps when I read your response. Thank you for sharing.
YES, it’s amazing what children are capable of doing.
More ME TIME for you is simply going to make everyone a little happier at home, right? If the mama aint happy, nobody’s happy.