It was exactly 6 months after the diagnosis that I did what I feared I could never do again – I led a movement workshop. I led my Molten Motion Workshop with slow, sensual, feminine movement. Yes, I did it. I can lead movement classes, even with a diagnosis of Early Onset Parkinson’s Disease.
It felt juicy good all over to share life lessons, lead conversations, introduce new, sensual movement, and connect in community. It was my pleasure. In fact, leading workshops is one of those activities that make me feel truly alive. I am grateful.
It was the day after the workshop, that I realized it had been six months since the Parkinson’s diagnosis. When I learned about having Parkinson’s, one of the thoughts in my head was:
‘What the FUCK is the universe trying to teach me? I used to teach smooth, slow, feminine dance. How can I ever do that again with a shaking body?’
Back then, I didn’t know if I wanted to teach again, but I really didn’t like the option being taken away from me. I was surprised and concerned upon hearing the diagnosis.
Since then, I continue to wrap my head around what this all means to me. I think the first two months were denial. The next two months were an emotional roller coaster. Now, I’m . . . . settling in with it. I don’t want to say I’m fighting it because I don’t want to fight anything. I choose to come from a place of love, and research how I may release this extra vibrational energy.
I’m aware of the incredible power in how we choose to think. I choose to love my body exactly where it’s at. Here are a few of my body loving ways:
- I show up to hot power yoga classes with love and gratitude for what my body can do today. I work extra hard on the balancing poses. I pet my shaking body part sometimes and send love and light.
- I say affirmations – “I create dopamine with ease and grace” (Parkinson’s is when your body is unable to create the necessary amounts of dopamine).
- I visualize my brain creating the dopamine in beautiful, lively, vibrant colors.
- I choose not to do a lot of research on Parkinson’s because, honestly, it’s scary. I’d like to create my own story of shaking minimally (or not at all) and being healthy, fit, capable, and independent for a very, very long time.
To be perfectly honest, this diagnosis has given me a new start on life. I’ve been living like a hermit for a couple years; working from home, not exercising, not very social, and being a Crank Monster (can you relate?).
I desire to be authentic, playful, and vibrant during this life I’ve been gifted. I desire to be fully expressed. I desire to share. I desire to write again. Please read as I share . . .
I’m strong 90% of the time, and I get a little messy the other 10% of the time. How do you, or would you react to a degenerative disease diagnosis? Please share from your heart. I thank you.