I’ve given this a lot of thought over the past few days. It’s been rolling around my brain with my desire to be authentic and real. I think there’s a lesson in here, so I’d like to share with you. I received this message from an acquaintance last week in response to my last BLOG entry.
“I am going to make a suggestion to you, so please do not get insulted. It is great that you had a wonderful vacation but…most of us cannot afford a vacation and when someone starts off an email about how they had a wonderful vacation with their family, it is a total turn off. So you understand where I am coming from, I have not been on a vacation anywhere in over 20 years and to hear that you can afford to do such a thing, just really rubs me/people the wrong way. This is especially true if you are trying to get us involved in your product and work. Just thought I would let you know how it comes off.”
Whew! This brought up such a mix of thoughts for me.
First of all, I’m not insulted, angry, or mad. She’s free to express. That’s fine.
This reminded me of the following lines from a favorite poem, Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson, “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.”
I am not about to hide or not share the wonderful things I’m up to in life, in fear I may create a ‘total turn off’ for someone. DAMN!! Imagine how many people I turned off by telling them I teach women how to pole dance and imagine all the women’s lives I did in fact touch in such a positive, empowering way. I’m here to play this game called life. I’m not here to be fearful of what others may think. I admit, this is sometimes tough to live by. I’m going to do what’s best for me. I’m not going to guess how other people may or may not respond. That just creates a ball of negative, stagnant, ‘playing small’ energy.
I’d like to think when I share, I may inspire others to take a vacation that is long overdue. OR maybe someone completely related to my float story and will begin to give energy to his or her desires.
As Marianne Williamson states, I am meant to shine, as children do. You are meant to shine too!
What a wonderful spot for your brilliance. And congratulations of setting your baby free to grow on her own! I love your big juicy steps taken with so much care and integrity. And I am thrilled to witness what is next for you! Come to graduation on June 19. Same time, same place. I’d love to see you! Hugs, S
Wow Joni….I’m really surprised that someone would write that to you. I feel like given that person’s response that he/she really doesn’t know you or your intention. When I read your last blog entry I didn’t take it like that at all. It’s funny how people interpret things differently. Well for what its worth- your positive energy is an inspiration to me. So keep doing you! xoxo
Hi Suzi. You’re so sweet! Thank you for your post. I’ll think about graduation – so juicy . . . . .
Hi Edie. Yes, you are right. She doesn’t know me as well as you. It’s been such a blast sharing myself with you all at the studio.
I LOVE your choice of words – ‘So keep doing you’.
Thank you for sharing.
Dancing with a great big smile,
I love this blog post and it really resonates with me. I used to think that way. I would get email after email sharing how they just went on vacation or some wonderful locale on business and I would get upset. How dare they rub it in and then expect me to buy their product or service. But I came to realize that I was not upset at them, I was jealous. Jealousy is a yearn for what another has, it is a gift telling you what you desire that you may not have been aware of. So I started talking to hubby about vacation and poof! We went to Aruba, that was exactly what we needed! So take pleasure and joy in your vacation and hopefully this person will realize that is what they are yearning for and will create it for themselves! Miss you, Elpida
Hi Elpida. Thank you for sharing. It’s great to celebrate the good stuff in life, isn’t it?
Yay to Aruba!
Hip rollin’ fool,
I’ve been guilty of something along those lines. I remember an evening in which we all got out of class after shaking and shimmying and feeling super good about working off some calories… and you had a bunch of containers of cookies to share with everyone. I think you may have been celebrating your birthday.
In the moment, all I could think of was, “I’m fat, I just spent 45 minutes working on reducing it, and here’s the very person who’s supposed to support my reducing it, undermining it!,” and so I remarked to you that it was unfair for you to tempt us like that.
You totally called me out on it and said something to the effect of celebrating your birthday, it still being important to treat yourself once in a while, and if I didn’t like it, I didn’t have to take one! I left with feelings a little bruised, but also thought about what you’d said while driving home. As Elpida wrote (of the other person), some of my feelings were that of jealousy because the majority of ladies taking cookies could “afford” to take one, whereas I didn’t feel that I could and honestly, that sucked!
BUT, I absolutely love that you are living by your words and in your truth. You were celebrating your birthday, love of chocolate chip cookies and what I especially loved was the empowerment you exhibited when you you refused to let my negativity ruin your feelings and intent.
These are difficult life lessons, but ones necessary to learn. Thank you for teaching me several (including new dance steps that night!).
Isn’t it wonderful how life presents us with so much to learn? Thank you for sharing.