I showed up on Sunday ready to fly on the trapeze. I showed up as Joni, strong and courageous. I let the staff know I shake so as not to be concerned if they see me shake. That’s the only time I gave it any thought.
My friend noticed I was shaking on the platform. Of course I was shaking on the platform. I was about to jump and swing from a metal rod. I bet lots of people shake up there.
That was the scariest part – jumping off that platform the first time. I was a little doubtful, a little scared, but so happy, lovin’ life, and thrilled to be right there, with my toes hanging over the edge of the platform. I’ve noticed lately, I feel most alive working through something physically challenging, like climbing a mountain, sprinting, or jumping off a trapeze platform. It’s exhilerating!
I’m feeling like a bit of a thrill seeker lately. I have to admit it, I feel a little sense of urgency.
I think this way every now and then. I’m not consumed by it, but if I’m being completely honest, I don’t know for how long my body will be able to operate at this level.
As I type this, even with the new meds, my left hand is struggling. This kind of struggle is not exhilerating. It’s a test of patience and is frustrating.
I choose not to stand in fear. Instead, I choose to stand in love – an authectic love of self and a big love of life.
I take this love and turn it into a monster desire of living life fully, truly engaged,
I desire to feel incredibly alive, with new, exciting adventures.
I desire to surf.
I desire to surf. Mmmmmmmmmm . . . . . I see the beautiful blue water, feel the hot sand between my toes, taste the salt water on my lips, and hear the roar of the waves. I fan the flames of my desire by researching yoga / surf retreats and surfing lessons, inviting friends of mine to join me, and tap into the thrill of being on a surf board.
Now I ask you to share: When do you feel most alive? Please share in the comments below.
I feel the most alive by simply being in the moment, not looking backward or forward. Being able to enjoy the present, whether experiencing an exhilarating rush, the solitude of meditation, time with a friend or a simply daily task is a gift.