I showed up on Sunday ready to fly on the trapeze. I showed up as Joni, strong and courageous. I let the staff know I shake so as not to be concerned if they see me shake. That’s the only time I gave it any thought.

DSC_0003My friend noticed I was shaking on the platform. Of course I was shaking on the platform. I was about to jump and swing from a metal rod. I bet lots of people shake up there.

That was the scariest part – jumping off that platform the first time. I was a little doubtful, a little scared, but so happy, lovin’ life, and thrilled to be right there, with my toes hanging over the edge of the platform. I’ve noticed lately, I feel most alive working through something physically challenging, like climbing a mountain, sprinting, or jumping off a trapeze platform. It’s exhilerating!








I’m feeling like a bit of a thrill seeker lately. I have to admit it, I feel a little sense of urgency.

I think this way every now and then. I’m not consumed by it, but if I’m being completely honest, I don’t know for how long my body will be able to operate at this level.

As I type this, even with the new meds, my left hand is struggling. This kind of struggle is not exhilerating. It’s a test of patience and is frustrating.

I choose not to stand in fear. Instead, I choose to stand in love – an authectic love of self and a big love of life.

I take this love and turn it into a monster desire of living life fully, truly engaged,

I desire to feel incredibly alive, with new, exciting adventures.

I desire to surf.

I desire to surf. Mmmmmmmmmm . . . . . I see the beautiful blue water, feel the hot sand between my toes, taste the salt water on my lips, and hear the roar of the waves.  I fan the flames of my desire by researching yoga / surf retreats and surfing lessons, inviting friends of mine to join me, and tap into the thrill of being on a surf board.


Now I ask you to share: When do you feel most alive? Please share in the comments below.