Some Penelope Research

Dear Penelope,

According to Louise Hay, a leader in the self healing arena, you have come to visit me because I experience fear and an intense desire to control everything and everyone (You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay). She recommends repeating to myself “I relax knowing that I am safe. Life is for me, and I trust the process of life”.

I love Louise Hay. She’s done wonderful things and has touched millions of lives.

Honestly, I’m not buying it. Fear? I make a conscious effort to live life from a place of love, not fear.

As I type that, I consider ‘who knows? Maybe I’m kidding myself.’ I’m digging deep here for the truth, my truth. I’m afraid of you and what’s to come. I’m afraid of how you’ll impact my ordinary activities. I’m afraid of who I will be if/when you turn things up. I desire good strong health. I desire my body to cooperate with me always. I desire my body’s performance to meet/exceed my expectations.

This fear has come to me as a result of your visit, so it can’t be the cause of it. I don’t recall any other fear, massive, so big fear, big enough to create you in my life kind of a fear.

The other half of what Louise Hay shares; I have an intense desire to control everything and everyone, seems like a bunch of sh*t. I hold down the fort. I make sure there is food in the cupboard. I manage my home. I manage the family calendar.

I used to manage my dance fitness studio. I was the creator, the operator, and the visionary.

I was not a control freak. I am not a control freak.

So Penelope, again, I really don’t know why you’re here. With all due respect to Louise Hay, this makes no sense. It’s not sitting in truth to me.

I’m curious. I wonder.

I see the future with my body operating like this or better.